Declaration of independence

There is a phrase in the Bible that is repeated four times; it says, “That is why a man will leave his father and his mother, and he will be joined to his wife, and the two will become one body.” The requirement for marriage is that the man be able to be free of parental dependency. This means that the relationship between husband and wife is the priority. The relationship with their parents is subservient to their own relationship. This means that the ideas, opinions of his spouse are more important. It means that he cannot allow his parents to manipulate them and finally, it means that they should not be dependent on their parents for their finances, affection, advantage, advice, etc. Failure to switch his allegiance from his parents to his spouse always produces conflict.

Independence means that the husband has saved money, has studied for a career or is in the process or has a job, and has shown that he can handle money and is responsible. In times past, and in some cultures today, a man needs to show her fiance’s family that he is capable of providing for her.

Establishing independence must be done in an honorable manner. It does not mean that you should move away from your parents, because it is possible to have dependency living far away. But it is better to have distance between your families. Separation from your parents does not mean that you ignore or abandon your parents (Mark 7:9-13). But as Jesus said in Matthew 19, “let not man separate them” that includes parents, in-laws and relatives.