Relationships are created, maintained, nurtured or are degraded and destroyed by communication. Communication is the air that sustains a marriage.  The most common cause for conflict has its roots in communication interruptions. Our words can be like “golden oranges encrusted with silver” as Proverbs 25:11 says, or they can corrupt the whole person and set “the whole course of life on fire” as James 3:6 says. Jesus said in Matthew 12:36, 37, “But I tell you that on the day of judgment everyone will have to give an account of every idle word they have spoken. Because by your words you will be absolved and by your words you will be condemned.”

Communication can be defined as a process, verbal and non-verbal, of expressing and receiving information and feelings, in such a way that the two participants are sure that they are understood. Effective communication is not automatic, nor is it easy, as many factors interfere with our desire to express ourselves openly. The way we communicate is influenced by the person we are talking to, the context, and the skills we have learned from our families.

Misunderstandings occur when two people communicate in two opposite ways. Men and women communicate differently. Men communicate to fix things or to compete, while women communicate to express and vent. Men communicate at the level of facts, ideas, concepts, logic, analysis, the big picture, and work. Women communicate on the level of feelings, emotions, details, intuition, process, relationships, and connections.

Who talks the most in your relationship? Are you comfortable with that?