Contract Versus Covenant

The great need of men and women is to revel in the security that a good marriage provides. Security comes from knowing that both of you are loved unconditionally and that the other person is committed to him or her. Security exists when there is a commitment made through a covenant. The word “covenant” describes marriage relationships throughout the Bible. Marriage is not a contract. A contract is a temporary agreement between two or more parties who need to give something in exchange for receiving something. Marriage is not based on 50% for 50%. It is based on giving 100% no matter what the other gives. Any party can break a contract, but a covenant binds us. You must agree that you will never allow the word “divorce” in your words.

A covenant is an agreement between two participants who enter into a promise without conditions for life, which cannot be broken, even if one does not fulfill their part of the agreement. An example of a marriage covenant is the covenant of love that God made with his people: “. . .I gave you my solemn oath and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Sovereign Lord, and you became mine.” (Ezekiel 16:8)

It is not based on superficial reasons, but on love. Deitrich Bonhoeffer a German writer said, “It is not your love that sustains marriage, but from now on, marriage sustains your love.” The love in a marriage is sustained by a covenant. Love is not a contract but it is choosing to love someone for theirr whole life. Again, God said: “The Lord did not set his affection on you and choose you because you were more numerous than other peoples, for you were the fewest of all peoples. but it was because the Lord loved you and kept the oath he swore to your ancestors.”  (Deuteronomy 7:7,8).

Love is giving. It is deciding. It is expensive. Love is an action. It is what you do and not what you feel. Loving someone means that you have decided to give, not just receive. Tim Kimmel says that” love is the commitment of my will for the wishes and well-being of another, no matter the cost.” Love is sacrifice. The Bible says that “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son.” There is not so much love as giving your life for someone else. A couple must not only be ready to sacrifice their life for their spouse, but to sacrifice anything for their spouse.